I intend to elaborate on this concept - but please let that opening line REALLY sink in for a few moments before embarking on this bile-filled hate opera that has been brewing in me for the last decade or so. Normally when people use such a sweeping - and not to mention vulgar - statement, they feel the need to endlessly qualify it with exceptions.
I do not.
Fuck unions. Fuck all unions. Fuck them right in the ass with as uncomfortably large an object as you can find close at hand.
There was a time in this country when unions were not only desirable and noble ; but were actually pretty necessary to right the wrongs doled out by decades of serf-like oppression. Memo to America - that time has come and gone. When major workplace issues shift from a .5 cent guard that will keep Jimmy the 8 year old textile worker from having his arm ripped off by spinning gears, to procuring ergonomic keyboards so your delicate little digits don't cramp up, it's time to make a change.
I'm not sure how or why it became un-American to question unions, but that shit needs to go right out the window before we dove-tail into Stalin Land. The recent shift in union tactics, reasoning, and general usefulness seems to have changed in direct proportion to our ever-growing sense of entitlement in this country. Unions have devolved from mob-enforced hard-asses into the simpering pussies of organized labor.
Reminder to union workers: Unions are a NEGOTIATING tool, not a STRIKING tool.
Drill that into your head Sandy! (And yes, I do mean that to include all male union membership as well as female. If that offends you - try changing your tampon.)
Unions were designed to facilitate collective bargaining, not to allow you a forum to throw a hissy fit every time you have a disagreement with management. The idea is to get what you want WITHOUT (this is fucking key people) striking. It's to use the threat of collective strike to level the playing field between you and management. It's not designed to be a political temper tantrum that you throw every time you have the slightest disagreement.
Let me give you an example. Jenny's grandparents live over off of Brookeville and Emerson, half a block away from a transmission plant that aparently employs UAW (United Auto Workers) union members. Over the last 12 months, I would say I've seen strikers outside 8 of them. These are not oppressed Haitian sweatshop workers pulling 22 hour shifts and being paid in corn husks. These are middle-aged white guys making 30 bucks an hour for screwing a nut onto a fucking transmission. While enjoying full health, vision, dental, veterinary care, domestic partner coverage, life insurance, pension fund, workers comp protection, OSHA regulations and oversight, and the first six months of psychiatric care free of fucking charge!
There was a time in this country when blue-collar workers were envious of their lighter-collared counterparts in the office, but that shit has gone WAY by the roadside in the last 30 years. The pay scale and compensation for these jobs has totally flipped - and not in direct correlation to their true value to society. An auto worker worker makes more than a fireman. A carpenter makes more than a cop. A plumber makes more than God. That's right folks; the guy sucking the shit out of your septic tank makes more money than our Holy Lord and Savior. Though in complete fairness, God claims that his health plan is better - which has finally proven without a a doubt that God is not Canadian.
Congratulations Union America! You've finally won the battle for workers rights! And all it cost us along the way was:
1. Outsourcing of manufacturing to third world countries due to the prohibitive costs involved in paying union wages necessary in the U.S. Then blaming the problem on 'greedy corporations', when in fact it was the 'greedy unions' who priced themselves out of the market.
2. A record level of government regulation in every facet of business, further raising costs and hindering our ability to compete in foreign markets.
3. Billions of dollars donated to leftist political parties and PAC's who in turn raised taxes on businesses in order to pay for bloated social programs, further fucking out economy and tying up assets in a government black hole rather than being reinvested.
4. Above all else, and the true reason I am finally so pissed off I actually committed this bile to a rant for everyone to see: YOU STOLE MY TV SHOWS YOU ASSHOLES!!!!!!!
Save American TV: Outlaw Unions!
Michael Scott: "You have one week."
Pam: "For what?"
Michael: "They always have an ultimatum like that."
Pam: "Oh... Best apology video ever."
Michael: "I thought so too."